Is Justin Glaze really an investment sales consultant?

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Justin is a “DCIO Intermediary Sales Consultant.”.

If you’re content to know that Justin can provide for Katie in the manner she’s accustomed to, rest easy.

If you want to know what any of those words mean, read on!

Welcome to Planet Money: Real Bachelor Jobs Edition!

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WTF is a “DCIO Intermediary Sales Consultant?”

Wall Street has a habit of intentionally obfuscating information. Take a look at this job description:

“The incumbent is personally accountable to increase TRP investment flows elevate TRP brand awareness and foster client loyalty through the consultative engagement and promotion of TRP investments and collateral sales resources by means of proactive outbound call initiatives e-mail campaigns and other conventional forms of communication.”

Holy moly, that makes it sound like Justin is some sort of financial rocket scientist!

Let’s break it down.

Justin Glaze is like a mutual fund middle men.

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DCIO means “Defined Contribution Investment Only.”

401k retirement plans are an example of this. See, in the olden days, companies used to have full-time employees and contribute to their retirement plans.

(Retirement is when you have enough money to stop working before you die, like lotto winners or people who sold their GameStop stock at the right time.)  

Intermediary means they sell to the person doing the selling. 

Sales Consultant means they do a lot of phone calls and emails.

That is still a lot of words, break it down more.

Look closer, that is not Pam Beesly.
Look closer, that is not Pam Beesly.

Basically, it looks like Justin’s job is less “Wolf of Wall Street” and more Jim from “The Office” but with 401ks instead of paper. 

Hey! We just remembered Katie worked in a bank too!

They’re a match made in normal job heaven! Just think of the sitcom romance that could have been. 

Justin even mugs for the camera like Jim.

We’re sure Justin is a high value employee at his company with a lot of growth potential. (Get it? It’s a mutual fund joke. Whatever. Connor B would have laughed.) But if Justin isn’t feeling a strong enough connection with the financial services industry, we think has a future as a reaction gif model.

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xo Your Nosy Friends

AKA “International Detectives”